Katagoshi ni Kinsei
by Pretend2besome1
Summary: I have decided. Today I’ll settle things for once and all. I'm not running away anymore. Revised


**Disclaimer:** I don't own PGSM. "Katagoshi ni Kinsei" Lyrics belong to Naoko Takeuchi.

**Warning:** Shoujo-ai! (Girl/Girl) go back peacefully if you don't like it. Angst, people?

**A/N: **I suddenly got the inspiration to write this fic when I was watching Kirari Super Live at the part where Minako, Rei, and Makoto sang this song. For the translation of the song go to www dot kurozuki dot com/takeuchi/pgsm/katagoshinikinsei dot html or go to www dot sailormusic dot net and search in PGSM section, better yet watch the Kirari Super Live I mentioned. You might want to hear it because the song is good (IMO).

**Katagoshi ni Kinsei (Venus Over My Shoulder)**

**By Pretend_2besome1**

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_Yoake mae no kumo ni Kinsei _

_Anata to futari mitsuketa ne._

I stay awake because I can't sleep any longer. Those dreams about the past keep haunting me over and over. The cloudy sky brings back memories of our wonderful days in the past. How I missed those days very much. I missed the way we laughed together, how your eyes would shine with love, and most of all I really missed your touch. Without any warning tears starting to roll down from my cheeks signifying I'm aware that there's no chance it will happen again in this present.

I waited from day to day, year to year but you didn't seem to remember our past even for a little bit. Or you don't want to? Why must I'm the one who remember it all?

_Himitsu no koi dare ni mo iezu  
Sotto sora ni kieteku ka na_

I gripped my nightgown tightly silently wishing for this feeling to go away.

_Toiki de kaze ga kawaru  
Kimochi wo hoshi ni tobasu_

Flashback

It was at Usagi's wedding when I finally able to meet her again after we were being reborn. She is still the same Rei Hino I knew. Not the past Mars Reiko whom I and Venus both yearned very much. I needed to know if she has remembered something about the past especially our relationship. I need to put my mind at ease. So, I decided to come over to her place after the wedding was over.

She seemed very happy playing with the children. I merely stood there watching because it was a pleasant view I rarely got to see in this lifetime.

I smirked. _That captivating smile sure never changes._

_Tsutanaku hakanage na konna omoi mo  
Mirai de umarekawaru _

She stopped, realizing that I had been watching all this time. She told the children to play again later and they went somewhere else to continue playing on their own.

I approached her. "Hi."

"Hi, what brings you here?" She casually said.

I smiled. "I want to see how Mars Reiko-san is doing."

_I still love to call her that. It's after all a special name I gave her._

"I'm fine. I just got back from my training in Kyoto."

I nodded. "I heard that from Usagi."

"I heard from Usagi too that you had won an award. Congratulations."

I couldn't resist teasing her, "No hug? Don't you miss me at all?"

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. What do you need from me?"

I chuckled. "Well, well, well, haven't changed a bit, aren't you Mars Reiko-san? Always straight to the point."

_One of the things I love from you._

She didn't say anything. Okay, let's get back to business now. "As you wish, I'll go straight to the point. Tell me did you manage to recall anything from the past this last few years?"

She started to look annoyed. "Is that the reason why you come here? To ask about the past?"

I needed to hide my true intention so I tried to look calm. "Yup, I'm curious you know."

_And I needed a confirmation from you._

Now she was officially annoyed. "Geez, when will you quit it?! The past is the past! Look at Usagi and Mamoru, why do you think they can live happily now? Because they can _overcome_ the past and make their own future."

I shrugged. I should have known what her answer would be. This is Rei Hino after all. On to the next step, "Rei, what if in the past there was someone whom you loved very much and very important to you but you don't remember that person now?"

_Asa no hodou itsu made mo te wo tsunaida yo ne  
Wasurenai kara ne. Itsuka wa dakishimete ne_

She sighed in disbelief. "Would you please stop this? What I had in the past was done. In this present I'll _make_ my own future like our princess had done, and I already have that important person."

I'm shocked by her last words that pierced my heart. 'Please tell me she didn't just say that.'

"You mean...you're seeing someone? Who?" I hardly can cover a hint of jealousy in my voice.

"Yes. A girl I met in Kyoto." She said coolly.

My world suddenly crushed. 'It's A GIRL?! Why? Where you that blind to see my love?'

As a result of acting on impulse I spoke, "What if I say we were lover in the past and I still love you now, will it make any different?" I instantly regretted what I had just said but it's too late.

She shook her head disapproving "No, it won't. I just told you, didn't I? I had chosen to make my own future including the one I...." She then paused and frowned as if she just realizing something.

'Damn! Good job about hiding my true intention.'

"Minako, did you really mean those words?" She looked very serious.

I didn't make any sound instead I stared at her eyes hoping that I would find love in it. But all I could found is confuse, fear, and pity.

_Pity? That's the last thing I'll ever need from her._

She looked away and her eyes darkened. "If you really meant your words then gomen...I can't."

It was so hard to put on my strong mask and laughed while slapping her shoulder lightly. "You took it too serious Rei. I said 'what if', right? Didn't mean it was true. Relax, I was kidding." I lied and it hurts so much. However I can't bear to lose our friendship even though I can't get her love.

_Zutto zutto suki dakara_

_namida wa misenai_

She narrowed her eyes showing she was unconvinced by my words.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Look, I have to go now. I need to catch up my plane. I'll see you again next time. Don't take my word seriously or you'll get wrinkle soon." I winked to her jokingly betraying my broken heart. I turned on my back on her and walked away slowly before she even got the opportunity to reply.

_There, you got your answer._

She yelled 'sorry' and I waved my hand to let her think it wasn't a big deal for me. Then after I'm inside my Limousine I started to break down and cried. Artemis was worried but he pretty much can guess what happened so he decided not to talk much.

End of flashback

I couldn't hold back any longer the tears that flooding from my eyes. Remembering what she had said to me is more than just hurt. It's funny now I realize that I also had fallen for Rei Hino and not only her former self. That I'm not only obsessed with the past.

Venus is always me and so am I the other way around. On the other hand this Rei Hino girl is different. She is Mars but she isn't Mars Reiko. Still, Venus and I love them both just the same.

_Atarashii koi dekiru ka na Kinsei mitete_

A few years later

From that day I always use my job as an excuse to avoid meeting with the others especially from her. It's not a lie anyway but I couldn't bring myself to meet you after Usagi had told me you finally introduced your girlfriend to them.

_Madogiwa ni yoku Suwatte ita  
Kanojo ga iru koto Shitteta_

But I have decided. Today I'll settle things for once and all. I may have learned to accept the fate in a hard way but I won't give up because no matter what I hate to lose. So no more running for me.

_Katagoshi kusa no nioi  
Kimochi wo nigirishimete_

I stopped climbing the stairs to your shrine when I heard joyful laughter from above.

_Setsunaku modokashii konna kimochi mo  
Itsuka wa hana ni kawaru_

I knew that laughter wasn't yours alone. Your blissful expression that I found when I finally got upstairs almost makes me wanted to go back and disappear immediately. What should I do to make you looked at me like that? What wouldn't I do to make you mine? No, Minako! There's no meaning if she didn't feel the same. This isn't the reason why I came here for.

'I'm _not_ going to lose.'

_Yuugure made kakete yuku kagayaki no egao  
Tsuite yuku kara ne ashita mo mata waratte_

"Rei!" I waved to her smiling.

_From now on, there will be no more Mars Reiko._

She and her girlfriend were startled to see me.

"Minako? What brings you here?" Both of them walked to where I'm standing.

"Is that how you greeted your friend whom you haven't seen for a long time?" I chuckled. 'Surely I can get an Oscar for my act.'

"Uh, sorry." She seemed uncomfortable. Probably thinking about how she's gonna introduce her girlfriend to me.

"Ah! Is this you cute girlfriend, Rei? I'm Minako, nice to meet you!" I offered my hand to her.

She accepted it without hesitation. "I know you. I'm Yuka, nice to meet you too." She smiled kindly.

To me Yuka looked like a nice girl and honestly she is cute. Well, Rei Hino wouldn't pick just any girl and somehow I could already tell she wouldn't regret her choice although I don't want to admit it.

"Oyeah, this is why I came here for." I held out my new limited edition CD single.

"I'm sorry I was so busy these past few years so I can't meet you guys as often."

"Were you really that busy?" You could hear a doubt in her voice.

'She still hasn't believed it, has she?' "Of course I am! My schedule was so tight."

"Oh, I know! You were still thinking about that joke I told you, didn't you? Forget it already!" Her girlfriend was at lost. She didn't know what we're talking about but good thing she didn't disturb us.

"Was it really a joke?"

I was near frustrated. Although her stubbornness is another thing I love from her this wasn't the case. Why can't she just accept it and make things easier for me?

_But I'm not going to lose. _It's becoming a mantra for me to say it again and again to maintain my resolve.

"Rei, I was only teasing you for god sake! Do I have to smack your head to make you believe it?" I raised my eyebrow playfully, trying to convince her that the 'slip' was nothing to worry about.

She was silent for a while then she shook her head weakly. Finally she gave in, thank god.

"Here, for you too Yuka, luckily I brought more." I gave another CD to her. She was happy to receive it and thanked me.

"Okay, since I'm finished here I need to get going to give this to the others also." I was ready to leave when her voice stopped me.

"Why hurry?" She asked. Yuka nodded agreeing.

"I still got many things to do in my schedule so I need to be hurry, see you again!" I'm practically running now because I really do have a very busy schedule today.

Both of them waved goodbye to me.

_Zutto zutto kurushikute_

_Namida wa kieta no  
_

"Katagoshi ni Kinsei?" Rei wondered reading the title of the new limited single.

Rei, the truth about my feelings is written there. But there's no need for you to know about it anymore. Don't worry, I no longer will show my tears and I'll treasure our memories together. I'll be strong and move forward, that's why please be happy for always.

"I love you Reiko."

I looked back and smiled for the last time before my Limousine departing.

_Atarashii __koi mitsukeru wa Kinsei mitete_

'Maybe one day I'll be able to find love again.....'

Owari.

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The reason why I made Rei have a girlfriend is because of the song (Read the translation). I really want to make a fluffy fic about them but instead I got this -- blame my angst mind ^_^;; and I hope somehow I reduced the angst by making Minako trying to move on in her own way.

Last revised February 1, 2009.


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